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There are plenty of standard do’s and don’ts for any regular job interview. But what about when certain important things that you’re not prepared to explain or avoid spiral out of control? We thought that just going over a few crazy scenarios that could possibly arise – with simple-to-remember directions to start them off – might be appropriate.

1. Avoid dog poop.
“I really, really needed this job. So the fact that I was riding to the interview on an ailing public bus that was having a hard time keeping the engine running was making me even more nervous. The bus pulled to a stop at my corner, and I was already standing at the door waiting to burst through to make it on time. I leapt off the bus, hurried to the receptionist desk, where she was waiting to lead me in immediately. After about two minutes of small talk and an official question, I noticed a quickly overpowering smell in the office. My interviewer and I quickly discovered the cause, to my horror. Always look where you’re walking.” – Chris F., San Francisco, California

2. Turn off your cell phone – especially if you have a ring tone that sounds like farm animals.
“I had an interview for an MIS position. I’d spent the night before in a less-than-civilized fashion in another city in an overcrowded house with several friends, catching up. I got back into town tired and stinking of drink, smoke and sweat to frantically try and put myself together.

“I arrived 10 minutes late and still looking like a carnival freak. Mere minutes into the interview, my cell phone begins ringing. I’d forgotten one of the basic tenets of job interviewing: turn my ringer off. Of course, with me being a geek, the phone didn’t sound off with just any everyday, boring ring tone. I’d created a special one from an old punk band on my digital audio workstation, complete with cursing and cow mooing effects. My interviewer didn’t try to hide the fact that she wasn’t much of a music fan.” - Megan H., Lawrence, Kansas

3. Keep your computer virus software updated if you’re sending your resumé electronically.
“I sent a digital resumé and cover letter via e-mail to apply for a position as a technical writer. Within a few hours, a message from the director in charge of hiring came via e-mail. Full of anticipation, I opened it to find a terse message: ‘Your resumé is infected with a virus and has been quarantined.’ You just can’t recover from explaining an infected resumé during an interview. I did not pursue the position further.” - Ed B., Madison, Wisconsin

4. If you’re bringing along a purse, case or European Carry All©, make sure you know what’s inside it.
“I was a bit flustered and nervous during a particularly specific set of questions given me, which caused me to shift in my seat and knock my purse from the table to the left. Out burst three condoms (three of a large number still in my purse given to me during a street festival I attended the day before). I was mortified. The interview lasted approximately one minute after that episode. I didn’t get the job but was told that I ‘interviewed well.’” – Teresa B., New York, New York

Bonus Round:
Try not to wear perfume that smells like bacon.
“During a particular interview, I was the subject of someone who had brought his dog to work that day (or maybe every day?). The dog took an interest in my leg. I defended my ‘honor’ as quietly as possible, but my interviewer took no notice of the dog at all. Uncomfortable as this was, I was actually wondering if it was some kind of test to see if I could maintain my concentration.” – Sherri S., Cedar Rapids, Iowa